the father heart of god

I had such an amazing week with Mike Montgomery as our teacher this week.

Last Sunday,
walked 30mins from campus to the solid rock church. Pastor Tex was playing the guitar during worship and his son pastor Koa was playing the drums. It was a rly small church and super different to CHC in Singapore/what I’m used to. Pastor tex preached on being rooted it was kinda confusing for me cuz it part of a series they were doing so I couldn’t fully understand. Probably visiting living stone tomorrow! After church we bought some stuff at the drug store just beside the church, I bought instant noodles to cook :p then we headed down to PAKE BOWL for Fiona’s birthday lunch 🙂 ordered curry rice and shared duck noodles with charis. YUM. The portions were huge HAHA
Went back to campus to chill and since I bought my pennyboard on Saturday I brought it along for Fiona’s ice cream small group outing (I crashed) and charis also brought her skateboard^__^ went to Scandinavian shaved ice and got mint ice cream super yummy ^^ hehe had a good time skateboarding downtown along the streets WOOOT

Monday morning worship was good as usual and after that we were introduced to the speaker of the week – Mike Montgomery from Scotland. He’s Irish! The first day he simply introduced to us the concept of us being powerful, spiritual beings. And how it’s not a benefits-based gospel (selfish) but a cost-based discipleship ( sacrifice/selflessness). I never understood how powerful we were till his reminder that we carry God’s spiritual authority and power. He was a man that really moved by the Holy Spirit and through the lesson sometimes he’ll pause and start speaking in tongues for the right things to focus and teach on and other times he started prophesy-ing to heather and camilla. It was so cool. My hair stood!!
We had singing class after lunch but I randomly signed up for ministry time with mr mike Montgomery and my small group leader, lexi who will accompany me too.
Mr Mike asked me “so what can I do to help?” And it stunned me because I SRSLY didn’t know what…. So I asked him “what can YOU do to help?” HAHA and he told me what he usually does for people and when he mentioned people’s past, the thought of my unforgiveness to my father popped up. I told him I wanna know what god has in store for my future and also I have bitterness towards my dad. And he told me i wasnt here to ask about my future but regarding my father and bitterness towards him.
He told me the whole story about his unforgiveness towards his father and how he forgave him despite all the physical and emotional abuse he received from his father. He told me all the consequences of unforgivess and how its like a seed and bears fruits the opposite of the spirit. And at the end of this week I will no longer call God “god” but something more intimate. He said I have been very hard on myself, always pushing myself (esp academically) which makes it hard for me to have relationships. He then asked me what was the first commandment/only commandment which had a condition: honour your father and mother and all will go well with you. He then told me that God fully accepts me and he sees me always trying to earn and please people… He then saw me in a vision, walking around my house and everything was functioning well but there was no embrace. He said I have an “absent father” and he could feel a sense of abandonment/lost in me. (All this was what god told him… All I said was I had unforgiveness to my father)

So the next step was my decision, he asked me if I wanted to forgive him. And he will help me and be my witness. I hesitated a while then I agreed. So I repeated after him, a prayer forgiving my father and forgiving him in specific cases. (I forgot when but there was a point where he put his hand on my shoulder to pray for me and he felt a sense of desire i had for this kind of embrace from a fatherly figure-tears kept flowing down my cheeks) Mike prayed over me and told me about the 4 lies I have believed and dragged around all this while.
1st lie/hook on my back: that i am unloved
-he physically removed the hook from my back and rebuked it
2nd lie: I don’t belong
– same process
3rd lie: there is no hope and nothing will change
-same process
4th lie: unaccepted
-same process

He then ministered over my life that I have new hope for the future and I am no longer dictated by the past. And I will have a blessed relationship with a future husband who will accept me and love me for I am :’) mike also broke off the fear of not being fully accepted and I should just be myself.
After that, my face was so swollen cuz I’ve been crying through this whole process and he asked me for a hug and I just fell into his arms and he hugged me for so long and he held me so close I could feel him pulling me in and I suddenly felt my daddy gods arms around me and he was the one embracing me and comforting me. (I also felt a little awkward LOLZ)

After that he now told me that my spirit has already forgiven my father however my mind and emotions will take some time to process what has happened spiritually. So if a doubt pops up into my mind I should not utter them instead I should bring it to god. 🙂

After all this, he asked if I had any other questions and I asked him in amazement, how do u listen to god so clearly? Like how does he prophesy so accurately? And he told me he focuses on the gift giver and not the gift…smth smth then he asked if I wanted these gifts because I seemed rly interested and intrigued by these gifts and so he imparted into me the gifts of the spirit :)))))

Words of heavenly wisdom
Words of heavenly knowledge
Faith
Gifts of healing
Working of miracles
Prophesy
Discerning of spirits
Diverse kinds of tongues
Interpretation of tongues

YAY 🙂 and he also said I will reach out to the broken and young people in particular!

Then he said I have to BE BOLD AND PRACTISE THE GIFTS. I thanked him and left the room with such a joyful/peaceful heart.

Took a nap then went for fan dance rehearsal. Woah fan dance not easy. We have to hold two huge ass fans and dance oh my so heavy some more LOL Went back to the room and jammed on Emily’s guitar and taught Gaby the Our God song by Chris Tomlin. Rekindles my love for the guitar. It’s such a good instrument to worship god with..

Tuesday,
Had prayer room worship and we sang the Our God song WOOTS! Song prediction^^ we also prayed for the orphans suffering from HIV.

It was Day 2 of Mr Michaels teaching. It was a bit awkward at first for me LOLZ. Cuz he really respects woman and he is super sensitive to touching us so i felt weird that he hugged me when he would ask permission to just touch my shoulder or back or head. He gave us Romans 12:1-2. That knowledge alone is useless. You need to use the knowledge to ask for a revelation and THAT leads to transformation. Knowledge thus can lead to intimacy with God with you keep asking for revelations from the knowledge.
He also gave note taking tips haha.
(Looking thru my notes and sighing because there is just too much to blog FML I’m gonna do point form)

• refuse the lie of self condemnation, even though we don’t deserve it, god will still give grace.
• our sin so so abhorred and filthy thy the only cute for it is death-the first concept is seen when a sacrifice of the animal is needed to cover the shame/sin of adam&eve. (Gods death/blood covers our shame)

Sin & repentance
• temptation vs sin:
– temptation appeals to the broken areas in yourself
– lust>fantasy>desire>physical arousel>shame
– story of an old slightly off woman who wraps her poop with candy wrappers: temptation is the “shiny wrapper” , sin is “eating shit”

• the enemy is good at pointing out our weakness – rebuke the enemy and bring the area of temptation, the enemy reminded you of, to God so that you many grow to Christ-likeness.
• do not be afraid of temptation, temptation is NOT sin.
(Sin starts at a family level.)

After lunch was singing lesson then supposedly hula class however I was so tired I skipped it to sleep HEH. Went down for dinner and saw Emilyn eating alone so I joined her. After dinner we didnt go for hip hop auditions and I didn’t know where it was. My bunk was empty so I went to emilyn’s bunk and we ended up chillin at the balcony and we started talking and I told her a lot about my life. And she said just looking at me she never have expected smth like that. And that’s how I feel for everyone. U can’t judge a thing about what they have been through just by looking at them but instead you really have to know their story first and we should all just show a little more mercy and grace for everyone. Because I’m sure everyone has gone through some kind of dark phase/painful past.

Wednesday,
We had audible bible reading in the morning. Then day 3 of mr mike’s lecture.

•sharing the gospel breathes life into people
• gossip brings spiritual death
– the tongue is like a rudder that directs even the largest ships
• words of life & affirmation can set you free
• holiness is separating yourself from everything the world has to offer in order to dedicate yourself in love to The Lord – putting god first over worldly desires

Condemnation (fear based) vs Conviction (love based)

• hearing gods voice clearly will help you be more spiritually confident and know your authority
• to the degree that you authorise the enemy is the degree that he was authority over your life.

• 1 peter 2:9
– we are a holy temple, we carry the living god in us

“We are more than conquerors”

Learning to recognise the voice of the demonic

Satans’ technique:
1) lies through the mind
2) reinforces the lie through emotions
– uses emotions to trap memory into the lie
3) emotions dictate how the mind thinks
4) lies start to grow and bear fruit

• the enemy uses deception & lies to corrupt/steal/manipulate our will
• society dictates the level of sin but in the eyes of God, all sin is equal, sin is sin.
• there is a price of breaking the law
– you give the enemy authority
• god honours/respects our will-allows us to make choices & say ‘no’

*the enemy is only after one thing: the authority that we carry (gives satan the power to that he may ascend)

The question is, who are you going to allow to father you?
The father of lies or the father of love?

Mmm then after lunch we had small group outing so we went downtown for froyo. I bought soft serve ice cream and we sat on the grass and played the 2 truths and 1 lie game HAHA. Then had hula class and they have us an evening off so we went to target an I spent so long in target that the rest shopped at Ross’s but I just finished shopping at target and it was time to go.

Thursday,
We had morning intercession and each of us had to hold a handful of rice and each grain of rice represented an orphan. So we praye for orphans and for the spirit of adoption to grow in people’s lives.

Day 4 of lecture,
• Romans 12:1-2
– the emphasis is not in what we do but our obedience
– priority is to be with Gog Lau the desires of your heart down

LOVE – psalm 139
• Corinthians 13
• love is patient
– 2 Peter 3:9
– 2 Peter 3:15
– Matthew 6:14

• love is kind
– Isaiah 43:25
– Romans 3:23

• love does not envy
– James 4:5
– god only envies the love and things that we give to the world

*SUBMIT>LISTEN>OBEY
(God is your provider/protector)

• love does not boast
-Jeremiah 9:24
– boast about the character f god

• love is not proud
– philipians 2:8
– in humility he endured the cross

• love is not rude or self seeking
– philipians 2:3

* how we prioritise putting people before us
– put god first, every other desire/thing/person pales in comparison to God

• not easily angered/ no record of wrongs
-psalms 103:8-9
– learn to forgive quickly and seek to restore the relationship

*forgiveness is seeking to restore the relationship, don’t keep a record of wrong – take the hurt to The Lord and ask for healing.

After lunch was singing lessons. We are gonna sing the song joyful joyful and lean on me. And btw on Friday I got told that I got chosen for one of the solos OMG 😦 I get stage fright 😦
After that was hula lessons and I am right in the front FML HAHA made me have to put in more effort and concentrate in class 😦
Then it was ohana night which was awesome! Suzie talked about impacting individuals lives at her trip to Nigeria and this bit called George that she met who was actually a mass murderer. I won’t elaborate cuz it’s too long and I kinda forgot. And the next speaker was Susanne who was the ywam Perth founder. She talked about impacting nations. And her trip to… I forgot the country…… But she followed the book of acts and in one case she went to a hospital to pray for all the patients there and the next day when she came back to check on them, it was totally empty!! And the doctors were sitting around chatting and being jolly. After ohana night I ran up to get a picture with Mr Loren Cunningham the founder of YWAM. and we were looking for the Singaporean who came to visit, apparently the boss of tangs departmental store. But Mr Loren said he had left already. Stayed around to mingle then brought our skateboards down and skateboarded with Gaby in ohana court.

FRIDAY,
We had Steve lujan lead worship and he said we had the freedom to do anything during this time and we were encouraged to sing a new song to him. Gaeten came up to me during the worship and asked to pray for me. He got a vision of me like in the Madagascar movie, sitting in a box and floating on the sea. He told me that I may be confused/lost but the destination I have ahead is amazing and may be something I would least expect. So it really encouraged me as I rly feel that way. I’m slightly confused and not knowing where this journey would take me but I will trust god and his plans for me and just enjoy the ride 🙂 it will be such an exciting journey 🙂 Steve gave out free CDs of his album but I donated 5 bucks to him to bless him. He is one of the leaders in ywam Newcastle Australia. After that was the last day of lecture with mr mike.

It was a continuation from the last lecture:

• love always protects
– 1 Peter 1:5
– disobedience allows the threat of danger to creep in
– rebellion gives authority to the devil to gain a foothold in our life

• love alway trusts
– we are not entitled to putting up our defenses (world thinking)
– proverbs 3:5-6
– love (trust) The Lord your god with all your heart, mind and soul. Love your neighbour as yourself. All of the law hangs upon this.
– deal with broken trust
– psalm 20:7

• love always hopes
– 1 Timothy 2:4
– god wants every person to be saved

• love always perseveres
– 2 Thessalonians 3:5
– he persevered for us, our response is love/submission/obedience (lordship)
– ephesians 5:1

• love never fails
– Hebrews 13:5
– despite whatever you do, he will always love you
– we cannot love in our own strength, we need god

-you do not require faith for his love to be constant
– being a follower of Christ is not compliance but love

*LOVE (freedom) VS COMPLIANCE TO LAW
– willpower & self determination is wrapped up with law-keeping/compliance
– god gives us the strength in our darkest moments

Eg. Walking pass a beggar
✔Listen and ask god what he wants you to do
✖ Feel guilty and pressured to help
– Jesus did not heal/bless every single person on earth. Yet before he died he said to god that he has done everything god has asked him to do. – we all have different tasks that god gives us.

* always test what people say (prophetic words etc) as it may not come from god

Took a real after lunch then had hula class. Wanted to go to Ross’s but I thought swing dance was at 7 and there was no time. But swing dance was at 730 so I actually had time but nvm ah well. Went for swing dance which was quite fun and classy/old school^^ MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE? HEHE learnt how to spin and rockstep :p gonna teach Sam when I’m back LOL HURHUR
Went for supper after that and Justin drove sungmin, daniel and i to orange tree for the froyo which I felt was better than the one downtown.
I wanted to takeaway food back so we went to macs and I bought a mc spicy but I found 2 mc chicken mc spicys in my takeaway bag HAHA BLESSED WOOT^^ mmmm I’m such a pig 😦 OINK.

Saturday morning I slept in while everyone else had work duty^___^ woke at 9+/10am and head to the beach with Gaby to meet the other girls. Had a chill time at the beach tanning/reading/listening to music/sleeping/snorkelling. Bought sushi cuz i was hungry and postcards to send back to my loved ones 😉 then strolled back with heather, Alexandra and Fiona and we looked into a few shops and went to the farmers market (which was quite boring there was nothing much except maybe the fruits). Came back in time for dinner but realised dinz was corn dog and fries so I skipped it since it was unhealthy, ate my second burger and did laundry! I have new bed sheets wheeeee. Went for Korean class and it was fun^^ Korean is not easy man…asked for the phrase “call me” in Korean and its super funny to say it then give a wink ;);) HAHAH then I was gonna blog but WHEN I FINALLY FONISHED BLOGGING I DIDNT SAVE IT AND I ONLY HAD THE PREVIOUS HALF WRITTEN DRAFT THAT I WROTE AND I SRSLY BROKE DOWN INTO TEARS. I was so upset……. I took 3 hours to write the draft and it deleted -__- sigh fate….. Haha but yes I’m almost done with this new post!! I’m just scared I missed out smth or whatever. Anyway I have really bad tan lines HAHA and I’m so dark skinned now WOOOO LIVING THE NIGHA LIFE SOON.

Sunday morning slept in again while the rest had work duty then decided to go to Korean church with kaori, Hyunah, Gaby and Emilyn. Just for experience and OMG we didnt understand a thing HAHAHA. but it was fun there was food after an we played with the small Korean kids super cute^^ the shuttle dropped Emilyn and I at macs and we bought 20 pcs chicken nuggets and walked back to campus HAHA so I’m back here now chillin in bed. FINALLY DONE BLOGGING and I’m gonna read Loren cunninghams book and also Practise singing my solo parts. Gonna send out my postcards tomorrow!

xo

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