Chanced upon this awesome article:
A Way to Have Conversations That Will Lead to Deeper Relationships
by Glennon Doyle Melton
I thought it was awesome how Glennon shared some practical questions we could actually ask to our different types of relationships. I really felt like i was struggling in that aspect of trying to gain more depth and intimacy in relationships but not knowing how because I suck at asking good questions!!! So this is super helpful and I am totes gonna try it out – I’d challenge you guys to try asking these questions as well 🙂
“If we really want to know our people, if we really care to know them—we need to ask them better questions and then really listen to their answers.
We need to ask questions that carry along with them this message: “I’m not just checking the box here. I really care what you have to say and how you feel. I really want to know you.”
If we don’t want throw away answers, we can’t ask throw away questions. A caring question is a key that will unlock a room inside the person you love.”
Questions to a close friend:
- When did you feel loved today?
- When did you feel lonely?
- What did I do today that made you feel appreciated?
- What did I say that made you feel unnoticed?
- What can I do to help you right now?
Questions to our kids:
- How did you feel during your spelling test?
- What did you say to the new girl when you all went out to recess?
- Did you feel lonely at all today?
- Were there any times you felt proud of yourself today?
Questions to friends (instead of a how are you):
- How is your mom’s chemo going?
- How’d that conference with Ben’s teacher turn out?
- What’s going really well with work right now?
Questions are like gifts.
It’s the thought behind them that the receiver really FEELS. We have to know the receiver to give the right gift and to ask the right question.
Generic gifts and questions are all right, but personal gifts and questions feel better. Love is specific, I think. It’s an art. The more attention and time you give to your questions, the more beautiful the answers become.
Life is a conversation. Make it a good one.